Anger in Children: When is it a Problem?

Anger is a normal emotion that every happy healthy adult and child has to deal with from time to time. When does expressing anger become a problem? Children go through different stages with their age that affect the way they deal with anger. Anger is usually not a root emotion, but a term that may cover feelings ranging from embarrassment, frustration, loneliness to guilt. A newborn baby expresses their “anger” or frustration over being hungry, tired or uncomfortable by screaming and crying. A two-year-old may throw tantrums that include rolling around on the floor or trying to hit the parent, sibling or even their pet. As a child gets older, hopefully proper responses to anger have been modeled for them and they can learn to express their anger more appropriately.

Anger becomes a problem when it causes negative, aggressive behavior, gets out of control and when the root cause of the problem isn’t being dealt with. For instance, often children with undiagnosed learning disabilities will have frequent angry outbursts. They may be feeling frustrated because they are struggling to learn and it may feel like the world is closing in on them when parents or teachers suggest that they aren’t trying hard enough or doing their best. Because the child isn’t able to deal with the real issue, they become angry over small incidents that would normally be insignificant. This helps them to avoid feeling “stupid” or incapable. Once the problem is discovered and the child gets the help, support and proper discipline that is needed, the angry outbursts become less frequent or disappear altogether.

It is important that children learn how to express their emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. A child should never be told that their feelings are wrong, though they may need reminding if their behavior is wrong. For instance you might say, “Johnny, I understand that you are angry about your brother breaking your toy, that wasn’t fair, but it is not okay to hit when you are angry.” The child needs to know that his feelings are validated and should also be given some ideas about how to handle the situation better the next time they are in a similar position.

Anger is a normal emotion for people of all ages, including children. Good communication and modeling good behavior are two of the best ways to help children learn to deal with anger. Taking the time to praise your child whenever he or she does anything that is positive can also help them understand what it expected and feel good about doing what is right. Take the time to check yourself to see if you spend too much time being negative or angry and find ways to be more positive. If the parents in the home aren’t dealing with anger appropriately, they can’t expect the child to. Be willing to admit when you are wrong and apologize to your child, teaching them to do the same. If you suspect that your child has a serious anger problem, it may be time to get some additional help and guidance.

Ray Subs is a public relations consultant working to promote the Help Your Child with Anger Blog. For more information about dealing with anger management in children visit the blog.

Does Television Violence Affect Children?

Hollywood doesn’t want to admit it, but numerous studies have shown that children become more aggressive, angry and even sometimes violent when they are exposed to television violence and the results are seen almost immediately. Children’s minds are very impressionable and they learn by modeling the behaviors of those around them. Think of a baby learning to talk. The baby learns to talk by copying first sounds, then words and phrases and finally sentences. Children learn just about everything from watching the world around them and that includes what they watch on TV.

If they are watching television programs where violence is shown as the answer to every problem, they are more likely to react with anger, aggression and violence to the circumstances in real life. This is a very unhealthy pattern to begin as a child. Children need to be shown the proper way to deal with anger both in real life and on television. Many of the old-fashioned television programs did an excellent job of this. The main character almost always faces some sort of crises, makes the wrong choice and has to learn a lesson from it. Often the end of each program showed the parents talking to the child about how they could’ve handled the problem differently.

Does this mean that we should never let our children watch any programs with violence? It is something to consider, to be sure, but depending on their content and message, watching some of these programs together may provide the opportunity to talk about dealing with anger in more constructive ways. Having the opportunity to evaluate why the characters behaved the way they did and what the outcome could’ve been if they had made better choices may help your child to deal with angry feelings more effectively.

Television violence certainly affects children, but maybe not as much as our own behavior. Even more important than what our children are watching on TV is what they are watching in our own homes. It is important to model good behavior, including being able to admit when you are wrong and apologizing. Never expect a child to do something you don’t teach them to do through your actions. Actions not only speak louder than words, they teach far more effectively as well. Letting good behavior rule both in real life and on the television set will greatly increase your child’s ability to handle themselves appropriately.

Studies have definitely taught us that television violence affects our children. How much is too much? Certainly children should never watch violent programs that are intended for adults. Most of the time adults would be better off not watching them either, but the violence is too real and can cause not only aggressive and violent behavior, but depression and anxiety as well. Even children’s programs that focus on violence, such as Power Rangers, should be monitored and viewed with caution. If your child acts out after watching these programs, that is a good sign that they shouldn’t be watching them. Common sense needs to be the guide, but take the time to be aware of the connection between television violence and anger problems and using opportunities to communicate with your child can make all the difference.

Ray Subs is a public relations consultant working to promote the Help Your Child with Anger Blog. For more information about dealing with anger management in children visit the blog.

Some Areas of Motherhood to Learn About

The joy of impending motherhood can often be dented by concerns about aspects the mother to be knows nothing about. Here we look at a number of areas that the mother to be will want to learn about, and hopefully put some of those fears to rest!

1: Comforting baby

A concern of many impending mothers is that they will not be able to comfort a baby that is distressed; this is unlikely, as the very act of comforting a baby is built into all of us thanks to many millennia of evolution and learning. In other words it comes naturally, and should not be a concern at all. The mother will find that picking up a baby and holding it close – the basis to comforting a baby – comes to her with ease, and even if there are still doubts then investing in an ebook on the subject – there are many to be found on websites – may help her to become more confident in the methods of comforting and caring for a baby.

2: Why does a baby cry?

This is one of the most common concerns held by mothers to be and is a perfectly natural worry for any mother to have. There are many reasons why babies will cry, and it is important to remember that as a baby is just that it has no power of speech: what it does have is the ability to cry, and it uses this as a method of communication until it learns to articulate words.

Therefore it follows that a baby crying is not always distressed; it may be hungry or need changing, or it may be uncomfortable. It could be the baby is in a strange environment or is simply concerned and wants attention, or one of many other reasons why the baby wants the attention of the mother. Babies will develop different cries for different reasons, and the mother will soon learn to differentiate between a distressed cry and one that is simply asking where mum is – this is part of the natural development of the baby and mother bond that occurs at this stage in life.

Again, it is worth pointing out that there are many books and ebooks, plus advice websites and addresses that can help you in understanding why a baby cries and when, and investing in one may help to alleviate any ongoing concerns that may remain.

3: Babies and sleeping

A complicated area of caring for baby can be that of knowing when and why a baby sleeps, yet it is worth adding that no two babies will follow the same sleep patterns.

Babies are growing at a fantastic rate at this time of their lives and this requires a great use of energy which, in turn, results in frequent sleep. A number of babies will sleep little and often as they will frequently need feeding to create fuel and this can be a problem in some families. However, getting baby into a set routine of feeding and sleeping can help streamline the procedure, and for more about babies and sleeping then it may be advisable to invest in one of the many ebooks or other literature that is available on the subject as these can help mother to understand the behaviour of her child in sleeping.

The above are just three areas of concern that are often raised by mothers to be and while there are many more it is notable that few present any real concerns once they are properly understood. Experience is, of course, the best way to get to grips with the unknown and the learning curve with a new baby will be very steep indeed. However the number of impressive and useful ebooks and advice websites on all aspects of motherhood guarantees the new mother has plenty of advice at hand and it is a good idea to make use of all the information available.

Mark Crockrum Article Marketer http://www.baby-assistance.info

Babies – Some Basic Myths Exploded

Having a baby is, of course, a life changing experience, and every new mother is elevated onto a higher plane with the birth of her first child. There is so much to learn when getting to understand babies, for these tiny people are a different prospect to even the average toddler. To understand why we have to look - in the first instance -at the sheer rate of development that a baby undertakes in his or her first days, a period when serious bonding and inherent factors are put in place.

The importance of bonding

The first few weeks of a new born baby’s life are among the most important, particularly in terms of bonding with the mother. This is a natural process that has its roots in the ages of evolution, and can lead to a level of understanding and connection that is simply unbreakable in future years. This natural bonding process takes place in all mammals, and examples can be seen in the ability of a mother cat, say, to reject kittens that were not immediately with her after birth.

Humans have the advantage of rational thought, however, and the bonding is more prevalent from child to mother than it is vice versa.

Crying, and what it means

A baby crying is not always a signal of distress, although it often can be, but is an extension of a primitive communication system. The baby has yet to develop the means to speak, yet it can make audible sounds – crying is an example of attention seeking that is simply a natural response to unfamiliar situations. The consoling of a child by the mother by movement – pick the baby up and move it as comes naturally – is effective as that same motion was experienced in the womb, an environment that was comforting and entirely natural to the child. These psychological nuances exist throughout life, and are formed during this very early phase of life.

Picking a baby up when it is crying and swathing it in a comforting blanket will generally stem the crying, and if this is not the case then medical help should be considered – especially if it is unusual.

Sleep patterns

Babies life patterns follow set routines – they eat, and they sleep – and this continues for a long period of time. The development rate of a baby at this point in its life is meteoric, as all of its basic systems are still forming and growing and the energy consumed is quite phenomenal. This is why they eat very regularly, and why they sleep in often unsocial patterns!

A baby needs to feed often, as it has no option. It is simply a necessity that is akin to taking in fuel in order to power mechanical functions. The body of a newborn baby begins growing immediately it is born, and with so many vital organs to put in place the amount of food consumed is vast compared to body weight.

New mothers will notice their baby growing at a quite alarming rate, and the weight it will put on in these first tentative months can often be of concern to an inexperienced mother. It is entirely natural, however, and simply commensurate to the growth rate of a new born child. If the mother does suspect something may be wrong, she must not feel averse to asking an expert – babies are fragile life forms, and need constant care.

The basics

It will surprise the new mother how quickly she picks up the basics of motherhood, and this is because most of it is inherent common sense that has been embedded in our subconscious over time. Many mothers worry about how to hold a baby, yet suddenly find it entirely natural and others about how to know when the baby needs feeding – believe me, you’ll know!

The truth is that motherhood is simply one facet of life – it is, after all, what we are built for.

Mark Crockrum Article http://www.baby-assistance.info

A Few Motherhood Myths Exploded

Impending motherhood can throw up many apparent problems, and these add to the already present concerns of mothers to be. Too often these problems are ones that can be overcome with ease – either by talking to experts or reading widely available literature – and many of them are fears that turn out to be entirely unfounded.

Rest assured the concerns that you may have as a new mother are those that have been experienced by many others – let’s have a look and sort out the myths from the truth.

How do I hold a baby?

A common concern for many new mothers is that they will not be able to correctly hold a baby – this is not true, and you will soon find it the most natural thing in the world.

Evolution has led to a natural method of holding and protecting a small child, and this is reflected in the way that the new mother very quickly gets the hang of picking up – safely and securely – a baby. This all has its roots in security and safety, and the reaction of holding a baby close and carefully is the natural reaction of any new mother – it is also what the baby needs and wants; don’t worry about how to hold a baby – it will come naturally.

Will I bond with baby?

Indeed you will and very quickly too. The process of bonding is one that is naturally begun the moment of birth, and the tradition of giving the mother the newborn baby to hold is more than simply a gesture. The significance is enhanced as, over the next few days, mother and baby draw closer together, forming the natural and lifelong bond that is present in every mother-child relationship. We are, after all, mammals and as such share our protective behaviour with others in that class; all animals have a duty to protect and teach their young until they are ready to leave the nest, and this is the same with mothers and babies in humans.

The first few days and weeks will lead to bonding – there is nothing particular you need to do that will not come naturally.

How will I understand what baby wants?

You just will! Babies communicate by crying as they have yet to be empowered with speech, and communication in this way is often misconstrued as being a sign of distress. Alternatively it can be a cry for food, for comfort or simply for attention, and believe me you will soon work out the slight differences in each instance.

You will fall into a routine with regard to when baby wants feeding or changing, or when it is simply looking for reassurance and comfort – all of these are signalled by the baby’s natural calling signal.

How will I know baby gets enough sleep?

Different children sleep for different lengths of time and in different patterns – just as we humans do. It may be that you sleep for eight solid hours while your partner sleeps in short stints – the same differences are apparent in babies, all of which can exhibit completely different sleep patterns.

The growth and development rate of a baby at this stage of life is quite meteoric and thus requires a great deal of energy. Expending such energy very quickly leads to tiredness hence babies will sleep little and often rather than sparsely and lengthily.

Introducing a routine into baby’s sleep patterns early in life can be a good idea, and gives the mother the knowledge that she will be able to get some sleep too.

Having a baby need not be a worry as it is the greatest change in any woman’s life; the concerns that attend to each mother are not unusual, just as worrying about a new job or moving to a new house is a concern – it is the unknown that is the worry. There is so much information available for new mothers – there are websites and books that abound and offer excellent information – and there are always people to talk to. Take note of all advice and you will find the experience much easier to handle.

Mark Crockrum Article marketer http://baby-assistance.info

Babies – Some Tips For New Mothers

Every expectant mother has some concerns as having a baby is simply the biggest new event in a mother’s life. Many of these concerns concern aspects of motherhood that come only with having a baby, and here we will look at some of the areas that cause concern for many mothers.

1: Sleeping – babies sleep patterns vary greatly, so it does not follow that all will sleep irregularly. There will be babies who nap and babies who sleep all night, but the important thing is to try and get baby into a routine early in life. This way some regularity and predictability can be built into the daily routine, and while it may not be the routine the mother was used to before the baby was born it will certainly be preferable to a completely irregular sleep pattern.

Help with establish a routine comes from instilling the feed – sleep routine early on, and once this is done it is generally simpler to convince a baby to sleep on a regular basis.

2: Eating – babies need to eat a lot in relation to their size, and often, too, thanks to the amount of energy that is expended at this very important stage in their development. Indeed babies grow at a fantastic rate in the first few months and this means regular feeding is a necessity – get into a routine, as above, and the whole process can be incorporated into a daily exercise with little effort and thought.

3: Handling – a regular concern of many mothers to be surrounds holding and handling the new baby. Many hold the in-built fear that they may drop their new child, yet instances of this are few and far between. It must be said that this is not an irrational fear, but one that is instilled nib our minds after years of evolution and attention to security and caring for our offspring.

In addition a great number of mothers fear they do not know how to hold a baby correctly – the truth is that it will come naturally as it is an entirely natural process that is simply part of the motherhood process. Do not worry about handling and holding as it is simply common sense.

4: Bonding – much is written of the bonding process that occurs between mother and baby in the early years, and while it is accepted as fact it is not entirely understood by many. The truth is that it is a process that has evolved over many generations and is part of existing, and while it is a natural occurrence it will likely be hardly noticeable. The practice of handing the newborn baby straight to the mother is not simply a tradition as it has its roots in this natural bonding process – the mother is the first to handle the baby, and the one to whom it will turn for protection and comfort throughout its young life.

There is little to be concerned about regards bonding from the mother’s point of view as it is simply something that will happen with everyday action.

5: Crying – it is a commonly held belief that a crying baby is clearly distressed, yet this overlooks the clear fact that crying is the only audible way of communicating that a baby has access to. It can not articulate words, but it can talk to us by crying and there are recognisable different types of cry for different reasons.

A genuinely distressed cry will be noticeably different from one that says the baby is hungry, and one that simply indicates the baby wants its mother will be different again. These nuances will all come to the mother with experience and time.

The best way for a mother to alleviate her fears – whatever they may be – is to seek advice, and this is available in many different forms. In particular a selection ebooks and other literature covers much ground and gives the mother to be a good grounding in what to expect from motherhood

Mark Crockrum Article marketer http://www.baby-assistance.info

Motherhood – What It’s All About

It can be a frightening prospect to approach impending motherhood, especially when one has no experience. However there are a number of aspects of becoming a mother than are simply natural in-built reactions and, in truth, there is always someone you can ask if you are unsure.

The medical profession is well served by baby experts, and these people are there for you to consult should you have any concerns either before or after the birth.

Here we look at some of the common worries that mothers to be tend to have with regard to the life changing event that is about to envelope them.

How will it know I’m its mother?

This is an often asked question, and one that has a very interesting answer – put simply, the baby is pre-programmed to recognise you as mother thanks to thousands of years of evolution. The first few weeks are essential in the way a mother and baby bond, and it is during this time that the life long connection between mum and baby develops.

This is a deeply rooted psychological reaction that is present in all new born babies, and results from the days when protection was necessary from predators. While we do not have any natural predators these days, the process can be seen in many mammals, where newborns stay with the mother for a set amount of time, and stay close to her at all times.

Basically, when you hold the baby for the first time you are beginning the bonding process and, like a kitten or a puppy, the baby will expect to be fed by you and looked after by you from then on. It comes naturally, and you’ll hardly notice it happen.

How do I hold it?

Believe it or not this is among the most prevalent of questions asked by mothers to be, and with good reason; no mother wants to drop her baby, and the intuition to care is kicking in in this instance.

It may sound clich?d, but again the truth is it will come naturally. Women are predetermined to become mothers – it is what they are ‘designed’ for – and thus the thousands of years of doing so have left an indelible impression in our evolution.

In addition, you will have held a baby at some point in your life – most of us have – and you will have been surprised at how one way of holding it felt instinctively right. That is because it was, and this is how you will find yourself holding your own baby in the future.

The chances of dropping a baby – the inner fear from which this question arises – are very slim, as they require a firm hold. You will learn the technique very quickly indeed, and soon become an expert in the field!

How do I comfort it when it cries?

Firstly, it is important to know that a baby crying is not always a sign of distress – sometimes it is simply a request for attention. The baby can not speak words, but can articulate a method of asking us to attend to it – this is best done by crying, a natural response.

When a baby cries the mothers instinct is to pick it up; this is because that is the right thing to do. A baby will cry when it finds itself in unfamiliar territory, when it is hungry or when it needs changing. These are all instances in which the mother is best to pick up the child, hence the natural reaction and the effect it has.

A baby that is picked up is responding to the movement and the comforting aspect of the mother enclosing it in a safe and secure way, and thus feels protected and, as a result, stops crying.

Motherhood is a natural act for a woman, and the fact that a lot of it comes naturally is far from unusual – it is simply common sense. The above are just a few of the popular concerns of mothers to be, but few need to remain concerns for very long.

Mark Crockrum, Article Marketer http://www.baby-assistance.info

Choosing a Baby Feeding High Chair

Next to a baby cot or crib a baby feeding high chair is probably one of the most used baby and toddler products. Baby feeding high chairs are used virtually every day for many years and parents need to take care when choosing one if they are to get the best value for money.

Types of baby feeding high chairs

There are basically three types of baby feeding high chair on the market today. Wooden chairs are often considered the most pleasant to look at but they do have their drawbacks. First, of course, is that they can pick up stains quite easily and can often be difficult to clean. They are also heavier and can be more difficult to store.

Metal baby feeding high chairs often have more features than the wooden variety, are easier to clean and can usually be folded and stored away quiet easily. But they are still heavier than the plastic models, which may also offer reclining seats, adjustable heights and other useful features.

Baby feeding high chairs also come is four main types. The combination high chairs have a table and chair combined. When shopping online note that these models are sometimes also sometimes called convertible high chairs. Convertible high chairs have the advantage of being able to be adapted as your child grows. Adaptations include removal of the tray and adjusting the seat height so that they can even be used at the table like a normal chair.

Lightweight folding baby feeding high chairs are much simpler in design and can easily be folded up for storage. Also on the market are multi-function baby feeding high chairs that boast numerous features including padded seats, recline options and adjustable footrests.

Choosing a baby feeding high chair

There are several important features to look for when choosing a baby feeding high chair. No matter which type of chair you are after - basic or the all-singing all dancing- models, there are some points that can’t be overlooked. The first must-have feature is stability. You want a sturdy baby feeding high chair that cannot be easily moves or tipped over.

Second is security. Look for baby feeding high chair models with restraining belts that prevent your baby from standing up or slipping out underneath the table. Look for models with a five-point harness - two waist straps, two shoulder straps and a crotch strap which give the highest security for your child.

Next is safety. There must be no rough or sharp edges. Wooden chairs should be carefully inspected for splits and splinters. Your baby feeding high chair should also be easy to clean, preferably with a tray that is easy to remove and that has raised edges to catch any spills and prevent food bowls from sliding off. A removable tray is not only handy for cleaning it also makes it easier to lift your child in and out of the chair.

Some makers offer dual trays, also called two-piece trays. The bottom tray fits onto the chair, the second fits on top for easy cleaning. Check if these top trays are dishwasher safe. Some have moulding like those on school dinner trays so you can keep different foods separate.

Also look for high chairs that are adjustable so that you can use it as baby grows. Not only is this more comfortable for your child it will give longer life and better value for money for you. Padding makes baby more comfortable, but it must be easy to clean or better still removable so it can go in the washing machine. Check too if the footrest is removable so it can be easily cleaned if it gets very grubby.

If you can, take a look at the assembly instructions. Some baby feeding high chairs can be flat pack hell and have you bewildered at badly drawn diagrams and long instructions - some can take more than a hour to assemble, so allow yourself plenty of time

Using baby feeding high chairs

When using a baby feeding high chair always follow these safety rules. Always belt baby in with the safety belt restraints,; never leave your baby unattended in a high chair; always lock the wheels in place if the baby feeding high chair has them; check that all adjustable latches including the tray are securely locked in place and make sure you know the minimum and maximum weight limits of the baby feeding high chair.

Steve Shoebridge works for Just For Tots, your online baby equipment nursery and accessory store

The Common Concerns of Motherhood

It is far from unusual for expectant mothers to have a variety of concerns, and after all they are about to enter into a momentous unknown part of their life. Many of these fears and worries are natural and stem from the unknown aspects of what is about to happen while others are simply logical fears that come from a mother not being sure she is qualified for what is about to encroach her life.

Having a first baby is a life changing occurrence and will affect not just the mother but the whole family, hence it is no surprise that many new mothers find the process unnerving. In truth there are few things to fear in modern times where giving birth is concerned, yet there are a few areas of motherhood that deserve our attention.

1: How and when to feed

The fact remains that babies need plenty of food – they are, after all, growing at a quite alarming rate at this stage of their life and need to feed to gain the energy used in growth.

The problem stems from mothers to be being unsure that they will know when the baby will need feeding, yet it is fair to say that she will soon recognise the signs that indicate a hungry baby – in other words the child will actively tell her when a feed is due.

Routine is important in the life of a baby and nowhere more so than in the feeding cycle, and adhering to regular feeds early in life can be a good way of settling a baby into a good routine that can be beneficial to the rest of the family, too.

This attention to routine also helps with the next aspect of motherhood.

2: When will baby sleep

There is no definite answer to this question as all babies are different, just as all people are individuals. It follows that a baby who eats a little but often will also sleep in a similar pattern – for short periods and regularly – and this routine will change as the baby develops. In the early days it is wise to tailor the baby’s sleep patterns in line with his eating times in order that all can be dovetailed together. This is not to say that all babies can be catered for in this manner, for there will be some that sleep for longer periods of time than others.

All in all a routine is vital, and it may also be wise to read one of the many ebooks that cover babies sleeping patterns and eating habits, and there are many of these – and further advice – available on the market these days.

3: How to hold baby without dropping it

The chance of dropping a baby is very slim yet this is one of the more common fears that new mothers tend to express. It is no surprise given that the security of a baby and its comfort and well being is the prime objective of a mother – not just a human mother as the same attitude can be observed in many mammals – and fear of dropping the child or not being able to handle it correctly is far from uncommon.

There is little for a mother to be to worry about, however, as holding a baby correctly will become second nature in no time at all, while dropping one is practically unheard of!

To be fair there are many more fears and concerns that mothers to be tend to express, and many of them arise simply because being a mother – and having a child – is something that is completely alien to them at that point in their life.

Like other major commitments – buying a house and starting a new job – having a baby opens many more doors and invites many more questions than it gives answers to, yet should be embraced as a natural and exciting progression – it will all become familiar with experience!

Mark Crockrum http://www.baby-assistance.info

A Look at the Importance of Bonding – and More

The birth of a first baby is a new adventure for all the family, and particularly for the mother and father, and the newborn child. With it come a number of concerns – either real or perceived – that are naturally associated with new experiences, and particularly with those that will change the life of all the family irreversibly.

There are several myths that accompany the subject of motherhood and one is the famous bonding that occurs between mother and baby. While this is not, in itself, a myth the problems that surround it most certainly are for as we shall see the process of bonding is one that will happen without any special effort, and by simply doing what comes naturally in terms of looking after a baby.

What is bonding?

The story goes that a special bond develops between mother and child and whole this is definitely the case it is important to remember where it comes from.

Ever since man walked the earth mothers have bonded with their babies, and that the process continues in these modern times is indicative of how important the bond is. When a baby is born it will generally be handed to the mother; this is often seen as a symbolic gesture but in fact has at its root the generation driven system of bonding between mother and child. It has been around since man began and will continue to exist for ever more.

How do I bond with the child?

You simply do what comes naturally; each time you feed the baby you are enhancing the bond – it is you who gives him food – and each time you comfort it you are doing so in another way – it is you, the mother, who helps the baby in distress. Further, the natural holding and handling that mothers are adept at adds to the bonding process, and the sounds the mother makes and smells she naturally emits will be the baby’s first memories – it is these early memories that form the basis of the bond, and remain the tie by which the baby is eternally linked with the mother.

What if I don’t bond with baby, or vice versa?

If you are the one who looks after the baby, and who puts it to sleep, takes it for walks and holds, feeds and talks to it then the bonding process is taking place all the time. Often people look for a physical sign of the two getting closer, yet this is not what bonding is about – it is a natural occurrence that comes with the essential ties between mother and child.

Those are the main concerns that come with the bonding aspect of motherhood, and another one is the subject of crying. Many inexperienced mothers believe that a crying baby is one that is distressed, and while this can be a signal of crying there are many more reasons for babies to cry.

Why do babies cry?

This is how they communicate; while we have learned to speak and emote in a more complex and sophisticated manner the baby has yet to progress and is thus limited to the only audible signal he can create – he cries.

Crying can be a sign of distress but new mothers will soon learn to differentiate between different ‘types’ of crying: the distressed cry will be eminently different to the attentions seeking cry, and the hunger cry different again to the one that asks for a change. It all falls into place very quickly and with experience.

This is why the practice of leaving a crying baby at night has become commonplace – often it is simply a cry for attention, and needs to be grown out of rather than encouraged.

Of course prolonged and distressed cries that are unusual must be considered and attended to, but the mother will be an expert in baby cries in no time at all!

It may be worth investing in one or more of the many ebooks that abound on these subjects – after all, advice is to be encouraged.

Mark Crockrum http://www.baby-assistance.info

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